Twin Peaks

Critic's Review

I came to this place on a weekday in April and it was dead and boring. I decided to try it on an NFL Sunday; and it was completely different.

The first indication that this might be a good place to watch some football was that it was difficult to find a parking spot. It's a big center and I had to park away from the venue. Upon entering, I saw a bustling sports bar.

The place was packed but not overflowing with standing room only; it's small by Twin Peaks standards but still a pretty large venue.

No seats at the bar. The bad thing about this place is that if you're standing, it's hard to get a drink.

I peeked into the bar when a dude went to the bathroom. I didn't really want.a beer, but getting iced tea is always a production. I saw a bunch of people with Mich Ultra bottles so I got a bartenders attention. Here's how it went:

Me: I'll have a Mich Ultra PleaseHer: Oh, We're out of Mich Ultra
Me (spotting a Miller lite on the bar): I'll have a Miller Lite.

She gives me a receipt (I have a $20 in my hand) and I see her pouring a tap. "Oh No", I thought. I look at the receipt and she charged me for a 22 oz tap. That is way more beer than I wanted. When she got back:

Me: I wanted a bottleHer (looks semi mad): Bottle of Ultra?
Me: Yes

You really can't make it up.

Once I had the beer I just watched the Cowboys, Eagles and 49ers games from a single spot on the floor for about an hour.

The girls? The only really pretty girl in the place looked all mad; isn't that always the way it is? Not a bevy of beauties, but you'll enjoy the outfits particularly if you're a big butt guy.

Review 4/20/22

I've been to a few Twin Peaks before, and now that 'm not Pacific time, I'm getting used to watching ballgames at 4pm. I was in this area and decided to check on the "view".

This is the smallest Twin Peaks I've ever been to; the ones in Florida are quite large.

At first I was surprised how dead it was at 3:30pm, given that happy hour starts at 2. I usually had trouble getting a seat at other locations.

Something ridiculous is that they have 1 girl at the bar; doing service bar and also handling the entire bar herself.

It took me about 10 minutes and 3 tries to get a drinkable beverage and to order food. First, she just plopped the iced tea in front of me. Next time by I asked her for some lemon. Tick tock, she performed a couple of tasks and dropped of the lemon and scampered away. Next time by I asked for a straw; they don't have straws for the tall glasses, but I somehow made due.

There were also 2 ice cubes in the glass that were melted within 5 minutes. Note she still hasn't asked me if I wanted to order any food. Next time by I order some happy hour food; 6 boneless wings for $6.

Music here is mixed, with the Wallflowers mixed in with Phoenix and Bastille Feat. The food came out in 16 minutes.

I never order boneless wings, because they're really just chicken fingers, and I'm not 8yo. I expected them to be crispy like chicken nuggets, but these were juicy; like the breast when you roast a chicken in the oven.

The buffalo sauce was well balanced (I ordered medium heat), and the blue cheese was good. Not a bad snack for $6.

By now it was 4:15; all of the professional sports start at 4pm, and there wasn't 1 TV changed in the place.

The Red Sox and Mets games were on completely by chance; Nets vs Celtics playoff NBA nowhere to be found. This is not a sports bar.

This picture sums up the dining experience at Twin Peaks:

The menu still in front of my. She took my card and left my empty plates in front of me; in fact she didn't even take them when she brought back the receipt.

2 more girls came on shift at the bar between 4 and 4:30. The both looked mad that they had to work.

Conclusion

As a breasteraunt, this place is an abject failure. Without commenting on the attractiveness of the girls, it's just not a friendly place. Not a smile to be shared with anyone; slow, incompetent service, and between 3 and 4pm the server was so overmatched I never even got to ask for ice.